So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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