Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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