To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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