Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
