True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
