Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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