Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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