I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
