apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
