Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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