Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
