Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
