Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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