My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
