I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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