I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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