Apparently you make a good broom.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
