ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My cat gives me a boner
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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