we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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