So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
