"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You ruined the universe
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
