Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
