I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
