You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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