Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
