In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
