The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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