her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
being pregnant is like rehab
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
