I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
