I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she was so not down for the gang bang
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
