Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
