eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
