I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
