so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
