even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
