9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
