Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
