I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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