Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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