My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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