Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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