Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
