my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
