I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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