We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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