I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
