Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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