Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
