I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
