My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dicks are not precious.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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